Bit of a different post today, more of a life/personal one!
I wanted to write about something that I think is massively
important especially for girls growing up with so many mixed messages in the
media and within your peer group… positivity and confidence.
For as long as I can remember every single school
report/parents evening/PDR I’ve had has been along the lines of ‘you have all
the skills, but your lack confidence in yourself’. Great. Where do I get that? Can I buy it online? How
can I work on that? No amount of reading a textbook till it’s falling apart is
going to give me that.
I think finding confidence and the ability to love yourself
the way you are, is one of the hardest battles of all, some people are instantly
born with it completely happy in their personality and looks. Others (me) need
a little more work.
I turned 20 this year, and I think I can finally say I’m
getting there. Do I still have days when I wish had my best friends body, the
girls working at Topshop’s style and prince charming on my arm. Most Definitely. Is it everyday? Definitely not.
Here are 10 things
that helped me get there…
1.
Embrace
the things you like about yourself…and the things you don’t. I’ve chosen to
embrace the fact I have clear blue eyes by drawing attention to them with a
volumous mascara. I’ve never been keen on my legs but hey, this summer I’m not
going to cover them up in leggings and Maxi dresses…shorts and cute dresses are
my friends this summer…after all I have two legs…I can walk absolutely fine. I
should be grateful for this!
2.
I
always get anxious about social events, I think I’ll struggle with
conversation, and think that people will be judging me instantly. I’ve learnt
that no matter who you are, you will be happy to talk about yourself. Just
asking someone what their career is and how they got into that industry or
where they studied is a conversation starter and will almost always lead on to
other things, and after they’ve finished they can return the question…and for once
you won’t be stuck on this subject because you know yourself and your journey
more than anyone else.
3.
Pre
plan outfits for the future! Make a note on your phone or fridge of all the
outfits that make you feel super happy/sexy/amazing in. Maybe it’s your
boyfriends favourite dress on you, or those shoes that make you feel super tall, whatever it is write it all down and
this will be your instant go to outfit to bring out all that confidence.
4.
We’re
always quick to blame the celebrities for negative confidence in our image but
for me I don’t look to people in magazines and on TV but people closer to me,
and some times that can be just as hard. That girl that you went to school with
but didn’t keep in contact…still got her as a friend on Facebook haven’t you?
Make up always seems flawless…or even worse she doesn’t look like she wears
any! She’s been with her boyfriend foreverrrrr they never seem to have an argument ever and
she has perfect grades, goes to the best uni and also has an extremely full
social life. Nodding your head? Yes everyone has a couple of these! The thing
that helps me is to think of the things that make you, you. So she wears no make
up? You’ve been wearing it for years and now you’re pretty skilled at the craft…
10 points to you! The perfect couple? There isn’t one. Yes their honeymoon
period may have gone on for longer than
the standard couple of months, but believe me what they put on social media
will be an awful lot different to what their actual relationship will be like. Embrace the independent sexy woman in you
which leads me on to my next point…
5.
Have
a positive/sexy/happy playlist. Every time you go somewhere you know you won’t
feel 100% confident or positive listen to a song to make you feel better. I don’t
want to go to work that day? I listen to Pharrell – Happy. Walking into a bar
full of my super confident super attractive work friends? Bit of Beyonce. It
may not be a long term solution but those few moments before you walk into that
kind of situation can really help.
6.
It’s
okay to have an off day. Had a bad week at work, friends have cancelled plans
you were really looking forward to, and just to add to it you have the bare
minimum in the bank? Fine. Eat some food that’s not good for you, watch the whole
10 seasons of friends…even though you’ve seen them all before and then have a
nice relaxing bath, tomorrow you will reassess the situation!
7.
Celebrate
your achievements no matter how small; you got a promotion at work? Talk about
it. You bought those shoes you wanted for ages half price because you waited a
couple of weeks…Instagram it!! No one is
going to celebrate your success if they don’t know about it.
8.
If
that isn’t you, it isn’t you. If all your friends are all about the Little
Black Dress and you’d rather wear a lime green jumpsuit, wear the jumpsuit.
Life is too short to go along with what everyone
else thinks, if they’re your friends they will respect you and support you whatever
you wear or do. If they don’t? Not worth worrying about!
9.
Which
follows on to my next point…if you surround yourself with people who make you
feel rubbish. That is your problem. Yes maybe they look like the people you
want to be associated with, but do you really want to hang around with people
that you know will judge you every day? I know I don’t. This is one of the biggest things to remember: if
they don’t treat you with respect then respect yourself and walk away. This
applies to every kind of relationship. If someone is emotionally stamping on
you, pluck up the courage to walk away. You don’t deserve to feel this tiny when you have the potential to be this BIG.
10. Believe in yourself. Maybe this year you
won’t achieve what you wanted, maybe even next year you won’t either. But eventually
if you want something bad enough, you will get there, and it will be so much
better because you fought for it meaning you deserve it so much more than
someone who had it put on a plate for them.
Much love,
Zee x
(pictures where I look my happiest)
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